Giving it to God

I am SO stressed out. I was talking to the friend I commute with and started crying. I think things have reached a point in my head where if I don't do something or at the very least, talk about it, I may explode.


I am almost as fat as I was before I started losing weight last year. I am working a lot, trying to get as much overtime as I can. This coming week, I work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I am trying to sell the house we live in and I am busting my butt keeping my house SPARKLING clean so I can keep the house show worthy. I come home from work and start cleaning. I get up and clean. My kids are not very motivated to keep the house clean and require CONSTANT reminding. I suppose that is my fault for allowing the messes before and suddenly requiring such cleanliness. I am trying to buy a bigger house closer to Nashville, at the prompting of Naaman, who is currently unemployed. We already put this bid on this house, which they accepted, and we are having difficulty paying the bills we have. When he got out of the army, he promised me we wouldn't go down in income. He told me he would have the unemployment and when that ran out, he'd work. Well, it ran out and he isn't working - not really trying to find work either. I have begged, pleaded, threatened, etc and it just isn't working. It seems my only solution is to get a second job and be more exhausted.



SO....

I am just going to do what I should've done in the first place and give it to God. I always think that I need to be in control of the situation and make sure things go smoothly. It is not that I think God can't do it - I know he can. But somehow in my head it always involves me fixing it and God helping me. Like I am THAT important - like I am always the key to God's plan. HA HA HA! How stupid of me! If Naaman doesn't get a job, then I will follow through and get that job and that may be the answer.

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4/2/07 - Ok, so I started writing that a while ago while here at work and had to leave to take care of a patient. Then I started to rethink posting it. I don't have internet at home right now, so bear with the delays.

On the day that I started the above post, I was reading the newspaper and saw an article about a new restaurant in Clarksville. I don't usually read this stuff, but the title caught my eye. The VERY LAST paragraph was so key, I almost skipped it. It said something like "They hope to expand their dessert menu soon with the help of local bakers." I read that and grabbed my phone and called Naaman. "Naaman get online and read this article and then you go down there with pictures and sell yourself and your wares BIG TIME!" He actually did. They seem interested in a few of his desserts and they have an upcoming meeting to try the desserts and discuss payment. I sure hope that this will be enough for us or at the very least a START in the right direction. PRAY for us!